You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
