So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
