he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
