I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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