I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You ruined the universe
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
