So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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