I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
