Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
