Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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