I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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