just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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