saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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