I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
