i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
