dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
