Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize