Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
