Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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