Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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