do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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