What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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