It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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