Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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