Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize