I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
