I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
