Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
one might say we're banned from that church
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
