So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
