yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
