Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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