similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
