just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we made out on top of his cat.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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