Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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