It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
