JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
