Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize