scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it because I queefed?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
