How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i now understand why vodka
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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