Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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