I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dignity is for republicans.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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