You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
