as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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