Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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