He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
