YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
