nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
