So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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