You can't motorboat a personality
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
