I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
