I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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