I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
