if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
