Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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