just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
