My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
