that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.