Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
