Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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