Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
