I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
