go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
