it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
