I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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