I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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